Mom, Dad, I tried my best. It’s hard to put your Love into language.
And Being Human
If Love were conditional upon certain requirements, then the conditional If-then-phrase would first contain the condition and then the positive reward of being loved.
If you X a certain way, then you will be loved.
[X = think, speak, act, dress, eat, walk, date, live,…]
Therefore, of course, if Love were conditional upon such specific requirements, then loving you would only ever be the consequence to your preceding fulfillment of those very requirements.
If you don’t do X, then you will not be loved.
Manifestly, Love would be the potential reward to an imperatively and impeccably positively fulfilled set of circumstances.
That’s not Love.
That’s bribing Someone into a (pre-)scripted role, which Someone will gladly take on because earning love through the acceptance of a role that is outlined by a specific set of conditions is by far better than not being loved at all—not having any role at all.
That’s bargaining for survival in a zero-sum game.
If you’re plus one, then I’m minus one.
Love is not belittled by deep-seated human insecurities manifested in social conventions, however. Syntactically, therefore, Love has no If-then construction; rather, it is the all-inclusive ‘and’.
You do X, and you are loved.
You don’t do X, and you are loved.
You’ve never even heard of X and do Y instead, and you are loved, too.
Truly, with Grandeur and Magnanimity, Love replaces the words ‘zero-sum game’ with the infinity sign:
You are plus one and I am plus one.
One and one are equal in value—just as you and I are equal in value; we are equal in value. Your and my value, therefore, is not contingent upon Anyone’s dreams that become thoughts that become actions that become habits that become character that become fate. Our value simply is contingent upon our being—being born into the flesh and into the imagination—into the human condition.
You are, and you have value.
Love accepts and appreciates your, mine, our value.
You are, and you are valued. You are, and you are loved.
Love, now, has become your present state of being, not your potential state of becoming.
You are, and you are loved.
Because you and I are, we are equal in value, and equally valued.
You are and I am, and we are loved.
By simply being, you have Love poured in to you. As do I. Because we both have Love poured into us, we can Love, too.
You are, and you are loved. You can love.
I am, and I am loved. I can love.
Manifestly, we do not loose anything by loving, because as long as we are, we are loved—have Love poured into us.
You are loved, and I am loved.
You can love, and I can love.
So loving is not a subtracting force; rather, it creates.
You are plus one, and I am plus one, and together, we make… three.
When you and I and He and She and They love, we, together, create infiniteness.
We are loving.
We create a basis for being—equal in value, different in function.
You are …a certain way, and I am …a certain way—a different way, most likely.
In our differences, in our need for complementariness, we become relational beings.
You are in your specific way and I am in my specific way.
Together we are more than we are alone.
When I have found you, my complement, and you have found me, your complement, I am with you, and you are with me. We are together.
I am with you. I love you.
In our complementariness, we rely on language to communicate about one another’s ways of being—and changing. We nuance the meaning that our language carries in the present through refining it through cultural, historical, geographical, literary, and otherwise appropriate linguistic repertoires. We do so in complete openness and honesty. Openness and honesty should never threaten you, for they respect your being, your value. And mine.
And in an ideal world, to me, the ever-present state of the entire human body would be Loving—valuing human life in its freedom to be differently created and creating. If Everyone had Love poured into them at birth, Everyone would pour out nothing but Love. Love knows no should, doesn’t need it. We wouldn’t need laws and rules and doctrines to remind us of this morale; the earth would naturally be a place of unity in diversity.
But, alas, we live in this very world in which people are hurt from birth by the people who should be the first ones to translate to them the universal human ability to love and be loved—to live a life of love of freedom.
Because these people, too, were hurt at birth—or somewhere along the way, their life path.
Because hurt people hurt people.
Because hurt people live in the illusion of life being like the money game—a zero-sum game.
Because hurt people then steal from others; they commit the worst possible crime because stealing means taking away people’s right to live safely, to own possessions, to express their opinions, to be free, to be whoever they want to be.
And not in spite, but because of the human condition—no matter how hurt and hurting—Love still prevails. Through the fissures of the countless shards that this world consists of, the light of life comes in. In blood-drenched battlefields, its glowing seeds take root and shyly sprout in the springtime. And Love nourishes them until they’re grown, then takes their seeds and throws them into the warm summer wind which carries them to new grounds. And so it continues… the healing. The Big Healing of our Mother Earth and All of Humanity.
One day, one interaction at a time.